Dear Students,
There are a few things I feel compelled to point out after grading the travesties that are your research papers:
- APA Style does not include lots of clipart graphics to detract from the fact that you did not include a single citation.
- Dear boy student, when you get your girlfriend who is also in my class to write your paper, you really should look at it first and realize that as a boy, you would not use the same cutesy style clipart that she did. It’s kind of a big tell.
- When you use someone else’s words, there are these things called quotation marks– ” “– these things. You have to use them in order to not be considered a plagiarist, even if you did use a citation.
- Please do not insult my intelligence by copying and pasting verbatim the entirety of an article that shows up in the first page of a Google search and claim it is your own.
- Please learn your subject/verb agreement.
- Please learn that you do not put a comma everywhere you pause in speech.
- Please learn that you do not use fragments in formal research papers. It isn’t like breaking that rule in fiction or a personal essay.
- Please email me your paper in a single document. I do not need a separate file for the title page, abstract, body, and references.
- When I said send the file to me as a Word file, I did not mean that you should re-title your .wps file Word.wps.
- Um, if you were a previous student who got dropped, make sure you send the paper due to your CURRENT teacher, not to me. And you might want to consider not buying it.
Thanks.