To the jeans manufacturers directly responsible for EVERYBODY in Walmart, Kroger, and our Asian market knowing that I was wearing blue undies with BUTTERFLIES this morning…YOU SUCK. To everyone who let me walk around all morning WITHOUT telling me that I had a GAPING HOLE in the butt of my jeans…YOU ALSO SUCK. If my butt shows up in a People of Walmart shot, I will NOT BE PLEASED.
This would be the FIFTH PAIR OF JEANS that I’ve had split in the last 3 months (exactly what I want to have happen after I’ve been dieting and working out for an hour a day). IN THE EXACT SAME SPOT. Always the inner top corner where the back pocket connects to the seat. The first four pair were old and had been washed a million and a half times. Worn out. This pair was new. Ish. Like one of the replacement pairs for the other 4. So two months old. And the fabric there just disintegrated. SO NOT COOL.
To Zappos, who now sells jeans and has FREE SHIPPING BOTH WAYS, you are the savior of all who live in small towns with sucky shopping. As of Tuesday I should have two pair of Levi’s Curvy Boot Cut Jeans, which allegedly are designed for those of us with junk in the trunk and a tiny waist. We shall see. I ordered a couple of sizes since I don’t know how they’ll fit and THERE IS FREE RETURN SHIPPING (in a world where shipping costs you out the wazoo, it bears repeating in all caps because it is A GOOD THING). Once I know my size (and please dear GOD let one of them fit properly), I shall order another pair or two, since I have another 3 pair of the cheapo ones that are bound to go adios any day now.
Now tell me, when they are providing measurements for jeans, they give you the waist, they give you the inseam…both obviously useful measurements when trying to figure out your fit. And they give you the leg opening. Except this is apparently the leg opening at the ankle, which has zero bearing on whether they will fit. Why do they not provide the leg opening AT THE THIGH? That would be much more useful since that’s generally the point at which there is epic fail in the fitting department.
This random jeans based rant was brought to you by Lee Riders jeans.