The 11th Commandment and 10 Years

Personal

If you’re looking for writing news today, go check out Konrath’s post on Patterson.  I’d like to stand up and cheer because, for once, I actually agree with Konrath on pretty much every point.  He said it well, so I don’t feel the need to add my 2 cents.

No, today, I want to talk about the little known 11th Commandment.  This has come up in our house this week.  My spouse, due to his lack of ignorance, has broken this commandment TWICE.  And in the name of protecting relationship bliss everywhere, I felt the need to educate.

I keep an emergency supply of chocolate at home.  Generally this is reserved for, ahem, a particular hormonal week a month.  PMS totally constitutes an emergency.  As this is also the week I determined to get back on the calorie counting band wagon, I prepared with one of those 6 packs of mini Hershey bars.  Individually wrapped and only 90 calories apiece.  Responsible craving indulgence.

Except Wednesday, when I got home from work and went to get one, the entire package was GONE.  I found a sliver of wrapper on the side table in the living room, right by hubby’s seat.  At which point I informed him that he was not welcome to come home at all if he was not bearing chocolate.  A jury of my peers would never convict me for kicking his fanny for such an offense.

He came home with a big Hershey bar and a bottle of chocolate wine.  Okay, this was an acceptable restitution.

So last night was boy’s night.  I had some quiet time, and after I finished my words, I rewarded myself with the first episode of season 3 of Downton Abbey (mistake to watch right before bed–I was so excited I couldn’t fall asleep).  I opened up my Hershey bar, broke off part, put the rest in a ziplock bag (aren’t you impressed with my restraint?), and put it back in the cabinet with the baking supplies.

This morning when I woke up, the rest of it was gone.  Again.  The empty ziplock bag back on the side table by his seat (seriously, his habit of not tossing his garbage is really getting him in trouble–evidence in plain sight!).  When confronted, he said, “But I’ll replace it!  You weren’t going to eat it this morning!”

I might have.  That’s not the point.  The point is, the little known 11th Commandment is:

Thou shalt not eat the emergency chocolate supply of a woman with PMS if thy values thy life.

Truly, this is a public service announcement.  Inform the men in your life, lest they, too, make this egregious mistake.

I still had a square of Ghiradelli in my office desk drawer when I got to work, so crisis is averted.  And he sent me these for our wedding anniversary today, so I suppose I won’t be committing hubbycide after all.  Love you, Baby.  Thanks for 10 wonderful years!  And paws off my chocolate!

He’s so good about his husbandly duty of sending flowers to work where they can be shown off and bragged on.

Kait Nolan

Kait Nolan is stuck in an office all day, sometimes juggling all three of her jobs at once with the skill of a trained bear—sometimes with a similar temperament. After hours, she uses her powers for good, creating escapist fiction. This Mississippi native has something for everyone, from short and sweet to Southern contemporary romance to action-packed paranormal—all featuring heroes you’d want to sweep you off your feet and rescue you from work-day drudgery. When not working or writing, Kait’s hanging out in her kitchen cooking and wishing life were a Broadway musical.

6 thoughts on “The 11th Commandment and 10 Years”

  1. Lauralynn Elliott - April 26, 2013 10:22 am

    A chocolate thief! How dare he? My hubby did something really nice for me. He knows I love Cadbury Cream Eggs. Since we now know I have diabetes, he realizes that one of those big chocolate, cream-filled eggs would not be a wise thing for me to eat. So he got some of those little tiny ones. I can have one of those once in awhile. Sometimes he THINKS.

    Those flowers are gorgeous. I love flowers, especially a mixed bouquet like that one. Happy anniversary!

    Reply
  2. jacabur1 - April 26, 2013 10:29 am

    First congratulations on the 10 years abd the totally gorgeous bouquet.

    Kait funny thing about that stash it must only get eaten about the time you “need” it, apparently your husband has no sense if self preservation and you showed remarkable restraint. LOL

    Reply
  3. denizb33 - April 26, 2013 10:42 am

    Happy anniversary!
    Our grocery store was giving away free chocolate yesterday, if you spent above a certain amount. Mmm…

    Reply
  4. Dennis Langley - April 26, 2013 11:20 am

    Oops! That is a pretty important commandment. We are difficult to train. However, if you swat us on the nose with a newspaper enough times, we can learn. I promise. Happy anniversary.

    Reply
  5. L.S. Engler - April 26, 2013 12:01 pm

    I guess that’s definitely a benefit to dating a vegan. I know all the milk chocolate is entirely safe….

    Happy Anniversary!

    Reply
  6. Allen Gresham - April 27, 2013 11:51 pm

    The peanut butter made me do it. I plead innocence by way of temporary insanity!

    Reply

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