Personal

Confession: I Hate Phones

I had a nice positive post planned for this morning in which I mention that I finished the last of my revisions on Forsaken By Shadow last night and how, unless Pot finds something else I need to fix in that scene, it’s ready for beta readers.

But I’m in an I hate the world kind of mood.  I won’t get into why.  Most of it is stupid, just woke up on the wrong side of the bed sort of crap that I’ll manage to shake off with another hour of quiet.  But part of it is the phone.

When I was a teenager, I was like every other teenage girl.  I liked talking on the phone.  I was on the phone with my friends most every night for part of the time.  In college it was lengthy conversations with my boyfriend (now husband).  Somewhere, somehow after I got out of college and got married, I stopped enjoying talking on the phone.  A lot of this, I feel, is related to the immediate decline in my amount of free time.  But the more time has gone on, the more vehement my hatred of the phone has become.

Why?

Because 99% of the time when someone calls, they want something, and they want it right now.  The ringing of the phone is an immediate cry for attention that says “Drop what you’re doing and answer me.”  I really hate that.  Because I believe (and apparently I am in the minority on this) that phones, particularly cell phones, exist for MY convenience, not for the convenience of everybody who may want to reach me.  If I don’t feel like answering the phone right that second because I’m busy or cooking or generally don’t feel like getting off the sofa, I won’t.  I believe that if it is important, you leave a voicemail, and if I also think it is important, I’ll call you back.  My husband tends to think he has to answer RIGHT THEN, even if we’re in the middle of dinner.

I do not understand these people who call you and then don’t leave a message.  They assume (and my students are grand champions of this) that a) everyone has caller ID and b) everyone is so flipping paranoid that they will call back any missed call they have, even if it’s from a number that they don’t know.  Um, no.  If you don’t leave me a message, I am going to assume it was a wrong number and not waste my minutes or time.

And then there are these jokers who, when they can’t reach you on one number, promptly call EVERY SINGLE CONTACT NUMBER they have for you (:cough: Mom).  Is someone dying?  No.  I just wanted to talk to you.  :headdesk:

Email, I like.  IMing, I like.  Twitter, I like.  All of these things give me the required information and allow me to get back to them when I have time.  I usually have anywhere from 2-5 IM conversations going at once and everybody understands that if I don’t answer right away, I’m probably working or cooking or in the bathroom or something.  IMing is great because I can multitask–and I do.  But phones, phones require me to STOP whatever I’m doing because it takes more of my time and attention and I just HATE IT.

So yeah, that’s my confession for the day.  I really hate phones.

6 thoughts on “Confession: I Hate Phones

  1. I am with you on this. 100 percent. I love email for communication because A- like you said, I can get back to the person at MY convenience. And B- it allows me time to consider how I want to respond. Crucial for my feeling of well being and non-stressness.

    I have a friend who thinks it’s rude to screen his phone calls, but luckily my husband is not of that mindset. My sympathies are with you there…

  2. I’m with you. If I don’t recognize the number I don’t answer…period. If it’s important the caller can leave a message, if they don’t I’ll never call them back…period.

    On my cell, hubby has a distinctive ring and I do pick that up no matter what’s going on because he usually has a limited time to make calls. The house number also has a distinctive ring (on my cell) so I know if my kids need something while I’m out, or they’re latch-keying it.

    I prefer email, LOL

  3. Not only do I find the phone intrusive and something to be ignored 99% of the time, I’ll do you one better: I don’t answer the door, either. Unless you’re invited, expected, have been gifted with a universal welcome pass even if I’m sweats with bedhead and no makeup on (usually the case if I’m home), or there’s a police cruiser parked in front of the house, I’m not responding to your summons, even if you’ve seen me through the window and know I’m home. That’s my space and my time, and I’ll restrict access to both however I please. It’s no more rude than presuming someone will be ecstatic to have your presence inflicted on them on the phone or on the porch.

    1. “I don’t answer the door, either. Unless you’re invited, expected, have been gifted with a universal welcome pass even if I’m sweats with bedhead and no makeup on (usually the case if I’m home), or there’s a police cruiser parked in front of the house, I’m not responding to your summons, even if you’ve seen me through the window and know I’m home. That’s my space and my time, and I’ll restrict access to both however I please. ”

      Kerry, I agree! I almost want to put a sign on my front door that says “If you’re not expected or invited, we won’t answer the door for you” or something like that. I’ve had people knock and ring the bell again and again just trying to sell me crap. I don’t want to stand in the doorway while some punk tries to guilt me into buying their crap. Go buy a billboard, punk.

      🙂

      I do not answer the phone probably about 90% of the time. If I don’t know the number or don’t want to talk to whomever, I don’t pick up. Sometimes I don’t return calls. People who don’t leave messages don’t get my attention.

  4. Soooo nice to hear someone else with sense! The phone is about convenience, MY convenience. I am not available to everyone all the time. In fact, there are some people I am NEVER available for. And that’s OK! In our hyperconnected world its no wonder that the stress levels are out the roof – we never get any real down time. Well, I insist on it, and refuse to have it infringed upon because you happen to have a cell phone and a spare minute!

    Makes my mom crazy, that I can listen to a phone ring and not pick it up. Like you – no message, no return call. It couldn’t have been that important if you couldn’t be bothered to spend 15 seconds leaving me a message.

    Here’s to sanity!

  5. COOL ! People that think like me.
    Here is my own example today. This morning at work I had to deal with 30+ clients. So i decided to take a nap during the lunch hour. My girlfriend, calls, I pick up the phone press the ‘silent’ button and go back to sleep.

    She has called twice tonight already, but honestly I am not in the talking mood. I am sure she finds lying on her bed talking on the phone to me, quite invigorating … but … tonight a piece of bread and a cup of tea is all I want as I go to sleep.

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