I feel raw, hollowed out. Spent about six hours crying yesterday.
Y’all, killing good characters SUCKS.
Never done it before. Can’t claim I’ll never do it again, as I suspect it will tear the guts out of my readers and that’s a good thing to do. But UGH.
Honestly, there are only so many times you can listen to Rue’s Farewell from the Hunger Games Soundtrack on repeat without wanting to curl up in a ball and sob, then soothe yourself with chocolate.
And you know, if you’re REALLY into self-torture, watch the ACTUAL death scene. Watch at your own risk.
Once I finished that, I buried myself in Lucky In Love (Lucky Harbor number 4), which is my favorite so far in that series.
I get to cry again today because, geez, I have to write the funeral. While I’m still raw. For authenticity and shit. GOD.
On the upside, once I get past the funeral, then we’re in the final stretch with nothing but ass kicking of the bad guy, the win, and the epilogue. I’ll feel much better when I get to the ass kicking.
But in the meantime, have to get in the proper frame of mine for this funeral scene. Which means I’m probably pulling out the big guns. The Heath Ledger’s death scene in The Patriot. I bawled like a baby when I saw it in the theaters. Sigh. On to the suckage.
I’ve never had to kill off a beloved character before. I killed off some in The Gnome, but I hadn’t developed them to the point of making people love them. I can’t imagine killing a character that I love. I would have cried, too.
Why on earth do we do this to ourselves? This could be the reason why non-fiction is the only genre I am comfortable with. Sending you a virtual box of tissues and a MASSIVE box of chocolates.
Oh Lordy, Kait! Hang in there! I’m sure it made your scene amazing, but take of you while you’re writing! Relax in a nice hot bath or spritz a favorite fragrance or light a candle. *hug*
Your readers will be glad you put them through emotional hell because they’ll be rooting that much harder for the good guy to win. In the meantime, though, where can I send the sympathy card?