I have…nothing to actually report on this progress report. The last day I wrote was Sunday. I’m up to the 2 scene midpoint of this novella, and I’ve dropped everything to help a close friend who is going through some major life upheaval. This would be that life stuff I’m always preaching about.
Meanwhile, on the Operation Goddess In Training front things have been going well at the gym. This is all about establishing routine. I’m in my 3rd week of a 6 week lifting program (technically 4th but I took off most of last week due to injury), and 3rd week of C25K. And so far I’m seeing modest progress on the scale (without doing anything but swapping to the smaller plates).
I had a really demoralizing experience in the J.C. Penny dressing room a couple weeks back. It’s worth prefacing this by saying that I generally have a pretty positive body image. I’m not the skinniest, and I’ve gotten fluffier and flabbier than I’d like to be, but in general, I feel okay about how I look. So in conjunction with all the back-to-school stuff, there have been big sales, and I was trying on some stuff in the dressing room, which had multiple mirrors in such a way that you can actually see 360 degrees of your body. And I’m standing there in my jeans and bra, between trying on tops, and I realize…I have back fat. And I’m like…
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I…did not know this about myself. I can’t really see anything but the front and part of the side in the bathroom mirror, and I don’t spend that much time looking to begin with. And I HATED it. Not so much the fact that it’s there, although I hate that, too. But the fact that it INSTANTLY changed how I saw myself. And that is all kinds of not okay. Thankfully, I’m the type to act rather than wallow, and I’ve tacked on a finisher workout for tank top arms, abs, and back toning on my running days to start tightening things up. But it just…sucked.
It seems like this year I’ve been getting all kinds of reminders that I am NOT in my 20s anymore. Thank you, Universe, I’m aware. You can stop now. I’m having to work harder for what seem like much smaller results. Which is frustrating. But less frustrating than just living with a total lack of results and giving up. That’s not in my nature. I’m just having to work on being okay with the fact that this is going to be a VERY SLOW PROCESS. Lifestyle changes. One day at a time. Making better choices. And all that jazz. Let’s do this.
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Sidebar, I’m reading Love, Beer, and Chocolate by Violet Duke right now and LOVING IT!