Personal

To Live Is To Risk

How’s that for a philosophical title?

I’m thinking a lot about risk and change today.  I’ve made no secret that I dislike my boss at my evil day job.  I’ve had my fingers in a lot of pies with all the online teaching I do as a supplemental income.  And I’ve been very open (with everyone other than my boss) about the fact that I have essentially two years to find another job because I simply cannot be under these kinds of stressful conditions when we decide to start our family.

Well the scuttlebutt in the psych department is that once the deadline passes at the end of the month for those wishing to take early retirement, they’ll be offering several full time instructor positions.

Doth I see an escape hatch?  Quite possibly.  The department offered me the job the DAY AFTER I was hired for my current job.  At that time I was forced to decline, but I have since made my interest known to the department head.  I feel like I stand a really good chance at getting one of the positions.  I’m already teaching several online classes for them.  They did want me before.

There are considerations.  For one, whether the online teaching I am already doing will be a part of the 4 classes a semester that qualifies as full time or whether they’d continue to be supplemental.  This would be a 9 month position at the same salary I currently make as a 12 month employee (which isn’t so much a big deal as I’d just reserve a portion of each check in savings to pay myself in the summer).  It’s still with the university, so I wouldn’t lose my built up medical leave.  I would lose my personal leave time.  You don’t get that as a 9 month employee.  If the semester is in session, you’re expected to be there.  But then again, you get ALL school holidays–spring break, fall break, a longer Christmas break.  Depending on the actual schedule of classes, I should have more flexibility during the day, like I did back when I was a student.  That usually bodes well for writing.  Not to mention the fact that I would have summers off.  Which means I would be able to write full time for those three months.

And I would be out from under the thumb of the boss that drives me NUTS.

But there’s also the fact that I’m terrified of public speaking.  That’s not too huge a concern, as I’d get over it.  Straight up immersion therapy there.  And there’s the very likely possibility that I’ll have classes I have never taught dumped in my lap with very little notice.  I don’t like developing classes on the fly.  But even that would be easier if I didn’t have my current day job.

There’s a chance I might not like it.  I’ve never taught in person before.

And all of this is jumping the gun because they haven’t even posted an announcement about the positions.

But I find myself considering the risks.

There are always risks in life.  Stepping outside your door and getting in the car to go to work or the grocery is a risk.  Deciding to marry somebody is a risk.  Buying a house vs. renting is a risk.  Opting to self-publish or stick with the traditional path is a risk.  EVERYTHING about living is a risk.

It’s something my mother and I disagree on.  She doesn’t like to take risks, and she often thinks I make poor decisions because I’m willing to take them, never mind the fact that none of my so-called “poor decisions” have thus far had negative consequences.  She prefers the safe road to the road less traveled.  And she spends a lot of her time afraid and worried.  About everything.  Me, I’m inclined to gather the facts and make an informed decision.  Take a calculated risk.   Because anything else is just sitting on the sidelines.

Life is not a spectator sport.

2 thoughts on “To Live Is To Risk

    1. That’s what I’m leaning toward. Of course getting ahead of myself. They haven’t offered it to me yet…

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