I really hate that there are a few days out of the month when I can be mistaken for a tantruming two year old. Really, I should just remove myself from the world, retreat to my cave and have a snack and a long nap. Because food and sleep make everything better and help put things into perspective.
Who the heck cares if people are moronic and don’t want to buy my house? The economy SUCKS. At least I HAVE a house. I have a job. I can afford my bills. I’m healthy. I have two great dogs and a husband who loves me even when I turn into an OCD psycho crazy person. I have an agent who’s going to help me get to my goal of writing for a living faster than I’d get there on my own. I have a lot to be thankful for and no reason to melt down over lack of a second bathroom. And if we don’t sell our house this year, we’ll just be in that much better a financial position to try again next year.
I just need to get rid of more crap that’s cluttering up my house and my life and repurpose some of the rooms we aren’t fully utilizing (once the big stuff like the piano, gym, and my desk are gone) and go ahead and do some of the projects that we’d planned but never got around to and didn’t want to do since we were leaving. Like framing out the bathroom mirror (already have the trim). And my embossed wallpaper backsplash project (approximately $50). And replacing the closet doors. Lots of things that got put off when hubs broke his leg.
It’s really awful to get trapped in that Keeping Up With the Joneses kind of attitude. To focus on what you want and what you don’t have such that you’re no longer happy or satisfied with the blessings you do have. It’s a really poisonous state of mind, totally counter to the Zen most of us really need. It’s detrimental to the creative process. And it’s SO SO EASY to fall into it in American society because everywhere we’re bombarded with messages that what we have isn’t good enough and it’s time to upgrade to the latest, greatest, better thing because the perfectly serviceable thing we have now IS NOT GOOD ENOUGH (or has been designed to break right after the warranty expires).
So I’m back to being conscious of this stuff. To purposefully ignoring those messages and finding things to be thankful for in my daily life. Because I need to rid my life of the crazy. Again.
Oh! And Blindsight finally kicked in as FREE at Amazon, so if you’ve been waiting, it’s now there. And if you’ve read and enjoyed it (and even if you didn’t, but I wouldn’t expect you to do anything if you didn’t), if you wouldn’t mind swinging by and leaving a review there, I would be much obliged. Thanks!