Musings

The Curiosity of Couple’s Showers

By which I do not mean the variety that involves a romantic interlude.  I mean like party showers.  Those occasions for giving gifts for wedding or babies.  Hubs and I have to go out of town today to attend a couple’s baby shower.  He is not what you could call pleased with this, as the last thing he wants to do on a Saturday (or any other time, really) is go to a shower.  For anything, for anybody.

I don’t blame him.

This modern trend toward having couples showers just seems utterly BIZARRE to me.  A wedding shower that might involve the giving of tools…okay.  Weddings really are about a couple, so that seems not totally out of the ballpark, I guess.  And if you had cool hosts who made a real party out of it, then okay, I can see that.

But baby showers?  Seriously?  They are inherently female affairs and this whole trend toward gender equality and including the menfolk is, in my opinion, really just cruel to the men.  No man, not the father-to-be, not his friends, wants to go to a baby shower.  They don’t really care about diapers or cute baby clothes or bath toys or any of the other accouterments that one acquire at baby showers–at least not beyond the “Hey awesome, we didn’t have to buy that.”  They don’t want to play traditional shower games (actually, neither do I, but we have established I am not a baby kind of person) or eat cutsie little finger sandwiches that don’t actually constitute food.

So why has this become a thing?  Hubs has made it known he does NOT want to be included in a shower when we get around to having a kid.  More appropriate, probably, for the menfolk would be an It’s The End of the World As You Know It party–kind of like a bachelor party.  Because kids change your life way more than getting married does.  Yeah, I can totally get behind that.  I’d like an It’s The End of the World As You Know It party too.

Possibly women with baby fever cannot understand the reluctance that might go along with these affairs.  Most women are excited about babies and look forward to the whole thing.  I see babies and toddlers as a necessary evil stage to get to the nice, verbal, potty trained 6 year olds that I actually find fun.  I’m probably going to be more like Angelina Jolie’s character in Mr. and Mrs. Smith when they’re at that neighborhood party and one of the women just hands a baby to her and she’s holding it at arm’s length looking at it like What the heck am I supposed to do with this?  Yes, I too would feel more comfortable handling an M15 than an infant…as evidenced by the fact that at a recent neighborhood party we attended, I was hanging with the men talking guns and trucks.  Yeah, we already knew I’m not normal.

6 thoughts on “The Curiosity of Couple’s Showers

  1. I,personally, do not like to go to showers. If they would just open the presents and put them on the table for us to all look at later instead of passing them around for everyone to ooh and aah at, it would be better. And PLEASE don’t make me play those ridiculous games! My husband probably wouldn’t mind as much as most men. He LOVES babies. So he would probably enjoy seeing all the baby gifts. He’s one of those guys who is comfortable equally with a bunch a women or a bunch of men. 🙂

  2. I completely understand! When I was pregnant my husband’s friends gave him a “male baby shower”. He and several of his male friends went camping, took out the boat, and maybe got a little drunk. My friends and family gave me three baby showers and he did not, nor did I expect him to, attend any of them.

  3. I had a rough pregnancy so I choose to have a Welcome New Baby party rather than a traditional baby shower. Our son was 6 weeks old at the time. No games. Lots of good food. Most importantly, I requested that guests bring a book for the new kiddo, and write whatever messages they wanted on the inside cover. Kiddo got a nice starter library and I think it’s the first time in history that people have crashed a shower. I didn’t expect husbands to show up, but there were quite a few there and a LOT of other party crashers as well. Word got out rather quickly that the new baby was going to be there. Very bizarre, but in a good way! I don’t care for baby showers or wedding showers in general. This was more like a party where everyone got to hold the new baby. Kiddo is now eight, and I still have friends and family who bring up how much they enjoyed my twist on the baby shower tradition. Sometimes necessity breeds the best ideas! 😉

  4. This sounds word for word like the conversation we had two weeks ago on being invited to a couple’s shower. Your DH and mine should start a movement!

  5. No man may want to go to such a a shower, but very few women do either, at least in my circle of friends. When it’s my turn to go, I find myself hiding in a corner with a few single girlfriends, wondering if it’s impolite to open the bottle of wine we brought with us. If I do become pregnant in the future, I hope I will remember my distaste for them and not subject my friends to one.

  6. I also don’t know what’s up with couple showers, but I’m not crazy about baby showers, period. Unless I am incredibly close to the mom, I confess that I’m there out of obligatory support. (Sorry, ladies. Love ya, but not crazy about showers.) In fact, I have two children, directed a preschool, ran a children’s ministry, and write curriculum for church camps, and I am not “a baby kind of person.” LOL. I think the End of the World party makes more sense. Mail the gifts, and send the couple off on one last hoorah before their schedule is taken over my feedings, diaperings, and lugging tons of supplies to here, there, and everywhere for a 10-pound human. IMHO.

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